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purplemnm

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purplemnm

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7386
  • Number of comments : 837
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About purplemnm : Serve the Horde, or be crushed beneath it.

purplemnm's page activity

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purplemnm's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out how mature the guy I'm seeing is. After sex, he took the condom off and hit me in the face with it. FML

#8889344
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27000) - you deserved it (5932)

On 03/07/2010 at 9:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I received a phone call from my father asking how I spelled my name. Not only was he the parent who picked out my name, he was completely serious. FML

#8886558
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (1702)

On 03/07/2010 at 3:18am - misc - by crimson28 (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while in a public restroom, a man entered the stall next to me and began vigorously wanking. He finished quickly, but as he was leaving he peeped in at me through the crack in the stall door. FML

#8875274
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20609) - you deserved it (1795)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by ThoroughlyCreepedOut (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

#8864164
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7282) - you deserved it (37886)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:24am - intimacy - by imabadperson (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, there was a flood at my friends house. As a result, their cat shelter had to be evacuated, and my mother decided to help. I came home to 23 cats in my bedroom. I'm highly allergic. My face has now swollen up to the size of a football, and I have an important job interview tomorrow. FML

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

#8837524
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20507) - you deserved it (11281)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:17am - animals - by Catois (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a call from my optometrist. I ignored the call, because I already knew I had my appointment tomorrow. When I listened to my messages later, I found out it was from his secretary, saying all of his appointments have been canceled due to him passing away last night. FML

#8824133
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18905) - you deserved it (8078)

On 03/04/2010 at 2:41pm - misc - by dpod121 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

#8822462
367 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (9064)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I got a 95 on my term project. To congratulate me, my boyfriend said we're having sex tonight. I only get laid if I get good grades. FML

#8821519
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23935) - you deserved it (5814)

On 03/04/2010 at 10:48am - intimacy - by lalararara - United States

Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

#8814971
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13691) - you deserved it (10610)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by J-Ro - United States

Today, my guy, who is a PhD candidate, informed me that it is his goal in life to own every Will Ferrell movie. FML

#8814971
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13691) - you deserved it (10610)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by J-Ro - United States

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

#8801488
219 comments

Today, my boyfriend stole a guy's cookie. As revenge, he stole my iPod. FML

#8800810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (3317)

On 03/03/2010 at 3:35pm - misc - by ROLLY - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the pharmacy and asked the very attractive pharmacist what to do about the terrible itching under my cast. She told me to be a man and deal with it. FML

#8797696
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20373) - you deserved it (7091)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:46am - health - by brokenarm (man) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I found out exactly what Ducolax stool softener is all about. Holy colon cleanse Batman! FML

#8797519
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5926) - you deserved it (20922)

On 03/03/2010 at 11:34am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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