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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 June 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10333
  • Number of comments : 837
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About purplemnm : Serve the Horde, or be crushed beneath it.

purplemnm's page activity

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purplemnm's FML badges

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50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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purplemnm's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

by captainkevineff / 03/11/2010 at 9:44am / United States / Health

Today, I learned that even though they say that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, it doesn't keep him from putting a Q-tip up your ass. FML

by captainkevineff / 03/11/2010 at 9:44am / United States / Health

Today, while on the bus, an old man told me about all the many things he wanted to do with my various orifices. FML

by robotchickens / 03/10/2010 at 2:54pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML

by sliceddice / 03/10/2010 at 11:08am / Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn) / Love

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

by RyanM / 03/10/2010 at 10:00am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I went to see a movie with my best friend, and there were 3 girls loudly discussing blow job techniques. I texted my boyfriend about how gross the conversation was. His reply was "Pay attention. You might learn something." FML

by ohno / 03/10/2010 at 6:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I left my car in a disreputable area. After picking it up later on, I heard a strange "clonking" sound. The clonking suddenly stopped when my wheel fell off; someone had stolen my wheel nuts. FML

by 3-wheeler / 03/09/2010 at 6:12am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Transportation

Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

by notanerd / 03/09/2010 at 12:12am / United States / Geek

Today, I posted a pic of my prom dress on facebook. The dress looked amazing on me and it just felt so right. So I spent every single dollar I had and some borrowed to buy the dress. When I logged on later that night, the first comment asked "Is this a joke?" FML

by yayaimannoying / 03/08/2010 at 8:39pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found the purity ring I lost a year ago. Too bad I lost my virginity 4 months ago. FML

by BNLM / 03/08/2010 at 8:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

by gotitEVERYWHERE / 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I showed my fiancé the darling Tinkerbell hoodie I'd bought myself during the weekend. Instead of liking it as I'd hoped, he told me my childish wardrobe was embarrassing, and he wasn't going to be seen in public with me until I wore something different. FML

by Crystal / 03/08/2010 at 4:35pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love

Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML

by raidered / 03/08/2010 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my looks alone made a girl cry. FML

by SadFace / 03/07/2010 at 1:54pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous