Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

purplemnm

Search for a member

purplemnm

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 June 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7387
  • Number of comments : 837
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About purplemnm : Serve the Horde, or be crushed beneath it.

purplemnm's page activity

Visits<b>lurchloob</b> - yesterday at 11:23pm<b>arisaron</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 3:48pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:23am<b>eddie1122</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 6:33am<b>magicalskittlez</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:13pm<b>kyle23011</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 9:42pm<b>Bree06</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:47am<b>Corvo_Attano</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:04am<b>Cass_x</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 7:24am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 4:33am<b>MrKronos</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:50am<b>Shieldsam</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:14am<b>bumhole420</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 12:50am<b>PeartOfNeils</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 1:54am<b>Saruh159</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:19pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 3:57pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:07pm<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 10:14am

purplemnm's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of purplemnm's badges

purplemnm's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching this show about fat people. I was wondering how people could let this happen to themselves. Then I looked down and saw a giant bowl of popcorn, ice cream, potato chips, and soda. I thus figured out how people do this to themselves. FML

#12326152
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8026) - you deserved it (41179)

On 08/05/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Somethingswrongwiththispic (woman) - United States

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40428) - you deserved it (7200)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she "likes my lips and wants to rape me." FML

#12304319
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38384) - you deserved it (3668)

On 08/04/2010 at 3:58am - intimacy - by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom sent me beautiful candlesticks along with some half burned candles. I thanked her. She told me the candlesticks were a wedding gift to my grandmother 85 years ago. Then she said the candles were used at my grandma's wedding. I had already lit them. FML

#9177145
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20955) - you deserved it (7301)

On 03/18/2010 at 12:46am - misc - by knews - United States (Missouri)

Today, while at work as a lifeguard, an older gentleman who comes in almost every morning wearing a very tight swimming suit, came up to me and said, "I don't want you having any erotic fantasies of me." After a long pause he added, "Actually, I wouldn't mind it if you do." FML

#9161234
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32258) - you deserved it (3578)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that when my parents offered to help me pay for college, what they really meant is they would get the forms for me to apply for student loans. FML

#9160744
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24225) - you deserved it (4270)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:03pm - money - by thanxguys (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered that when my parents offered to help me pay for college, what they really meant is they would get the forms for me to apply for student loans. FML

#9160744
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24225) - you deserved it (4270)

On 03/17/2010 at 3:03pm - money - by thanxguys (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a debate tournament based on domestic abuse, my partner yells out, "Has anyone considered that maybe the women DESERVED to be beaten?" FML

#9141842
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38716) - you deserved it (5976)

On 03/16/2010 at 8:46pm - misc - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned that in Japan there are monkeys that wait tables and work at a tavern. Literally, I have a job a monkey can do. FML

#9129865
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27443) - you deserved it (5025)

On 03/16/2010 at 11:30am - work - by slickboy0023 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the water in my shower wouldn't drain so I used a snake to unclog it. I pulled almost a full foot of nasty hair and gunk out of the drain. I just moved in, and the previous owner was an elderly woman. I just pulled a foot of old lady pubes out of my drain. FML

#9129175
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32914) - you deserved it (2908)

On 03/16/2010 at 10:40am - misc - by please_no (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went on my first date with a girl I have been infatuated with for months. At the restaurant, the waiter came while she was in the bathroom. I ordered steaks for both of us. Turns out, she is vegetarian, and doesn't like it when men are "overly aggressive". She called me a cow murderer. FML

#9123015
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13983) - you deserved it (37203)

On 03/16/2010 at 12:28am - love - by meatballz (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML

#9111190
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8011) - you deserved it (23628)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lost my phone. I tried to call it using my husband's phone, but couldn't figure out which of the three Kates in the contact list was me. Turns out, two are co-workers and one is his aunt. I was listed under Satan. FML

#9110965
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39750) - you deserved it (8320)

On 03/15/2010 at 7:22pm - love - by Satan (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad and I were in the car when a rabbit scurried across the road, just missing us. My dad turned and said to me, "Well, it's good we didn't hit him. He gets to live another day." I then looked in the rear view mirror to see the rabbit running away from the cross traffic, only to be hit by the car behind us. FML

#9102050
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21671) - you deserved it (2987)

On 03/15/2010 at 12:44pm - misc - by bunnylover (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: