About purplemnm : Serve the Horde, or be crushed beneath it.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29157) - you deserved it (3365)
On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7404) - you deserved it (21000)
On 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28008) - you deserved it (1731)
On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)
Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30531) - you deserved it (3958)
On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23483) - you deserved it (3919)
On 11/13/2010 at 8:24am - love - by sadinmass (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18318) - you deserved it (4006)
On 11/12/2010 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. Shes on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53711) - you deserved it (7013)
On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend suggested we imagine each other as someone else when we had sex. I imagined he was Tom Cruise. He imagined I was my best friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24310) - you deserved it (892)
On 10/25/2010 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my doctor confirmed that the extreme pain I've been experiencing is due to a kidney stone. My friend decided this was the time to tell me that passing a kidney stone is the male equivalent of child birth. Hello even more pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18141) - you deserved it (3547)
On 10/18/2010 at 2:02pm - health - by bjevilcat2 - United States
Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9700) - you deserved it (51403)
On 09/24/2010 at 7:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I spent the entire day at school being called Meg. My name isn't Meg, so I started to get really annoyed and confused. Later, I found out it was because I look like Meg from the show Family Guy. She's known for being unpopular, unwanted, ugly, and stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (4471)
On 09/21/2010 at 6:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend told me to stop saying "I love you" so much because it's starting to annoy her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19545) - you deserved it (12852)
On 09/14/2010 at 10:43pm - love - by migsman (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I realized the guy I like is not deaf. This would normally be good news. However, for the past two weeks I assumed he was deaf after seeing him use sign language. I've been openly talking about him within earshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5843) - you deserved it (30909)
On 09/14/2010 at 4:00pm - love - by Jackie - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend and I got in an argument so intense that she left saying that we needed to spend some time apart. The argument was over what was the best PIXAR movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12514) - you deserved it (15097)
On 09/07/2010 at 1:00am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (12402)
On 08/06/2010 at 12:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
