About purplemnm : Serve the Horde, or be crushed beneath it.
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purplemnm's favorite FMLs
by Damn / 05/06/2012 at 9:53am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I finally found out what the horrible smell at work was. A rat had decided to make its home in our emergency exit sign and had been fried by the electricity. I now have to fix this. Hello scorched dead rat. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2012 at 5:17pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I spent hours baking an apple pie to impress my future mother-in-law. I was especially proud of the fact I'd made the crust and filling myself. When I served it to her, she picked off the crust and, between mouthfuls, bitched that it was nothing like canned pie filling. FML
by ohgodwhy / 04/20/2012 at 4:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while vacuuming my new apartment, I farted a few times. After my last fart, I turned to find my super-hot neighbor standing at the door. Panicking, I asked in a "I-didn't-just-fart-my-ass" tone, "Oh hi! Been standing there for long?" She replied, "Since your initial rip." FML
by Fartfail / 04/18/2012 at 9:43am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous
Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML
by MillyMan / 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/13/2011 at 9:31am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by butimarealbear / 07/13/2011 at 9:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Ignored / 07/13/2011 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Geek
Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML
by ohno / 07/13/2011 at 12:43am / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by MooCow / 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm / United States (Montana) / Animals
by couldntholdit / 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm / United States (California) / Love
by sm702 / 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Ghettogirl4life / 07/12/2011 at 9:34am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
by SaggyBoy135 / 07/12/2011 at 8:19am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
- Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked… Today, I started my third day of a student exchange program in Belgium. My room-mate is a guy, our… Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said…