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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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purplemnm

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purplemnm
  • Town/Country : Springfield, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 June 1990 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 5413
  • Number of comments : 806
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About purplemnm : Serve the Horde, or be crushed beneath it.

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purplemnm's favorite FMLs

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

#19017961 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (2059) - you deserved it (6982)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by MillyMan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend went and bought Skyrim, Modern Warfare 3 and renewed his WoW subscription. Looks like I won't be getting laid for a month or two. FML

#18273262 (652)

I agree, your life sucks (31927) - you deserved it (7564)

On 11/17/2011 at 3:22pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a family reunion, my dad announced to everyone that I'd finally started my menstrual cycle. My grandmother started sobbing hysterically. FML

#17092331 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (30840) - you deserved it (1759)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother started dating a man who insists people call him 'Panda'. FML

#17092208 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (10581) - you deserved it (838)

On 07/13/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by butimarealbear (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokemon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

#17090156 (271)

I agree, your life sucks (28355) - you deserved it (6269)

On 07/13/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Ignored - United States (Texas)

Today, I was invited over to a dinner with the CEOs of my company, along with my two children. My 3 year-old asked loudly why we have two "nose holes", to which my 4 year-old son replied "So you can pick your nose and still breathe!" He then demonstrated. FML

#17088457 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (22537) - you deserved it (4561)

On 07/13/2011 at 12:43am - kids - by ohno - United States (Colorado)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (15419) - you deserved it (9493)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (12683) - you deserved it (6666)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127 (302)

I agree, your life sucks (6395) - you deserved it (14582)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

#17078615 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (1871)

On 07/12/2011 at 9:34am - misc - by Ghettogirl4life - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

#17078308 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (16587) - you deserved it (2166)

On 07/12/2011 at 8:19am - kids - by SaggyBoy135 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (13360) - you deserved it (2930)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML

#14650881 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (6825) - you deserved it (19552)

On 01/20/2011 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

#14257367 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (1555)

On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

#14074806 (140)

I agree, your life sucks (27196) - you deserved it (3604)

On 12/03/2010 at 7:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)