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purpledirt

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purpledirt
  • Town/Country : Austin, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 27 October 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 83
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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purpledirt's favorite FMLs

Today, my 5-year-old son thought it'd be a good idea to pee into the heat vent in the hallway of our apartment building. The whole building now smells like urine. The landlord is a 6-foot ex-convict. He wants answers. FML

#21080782
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41194) - you deserved it (5555)

On 03/07/2014 at 8:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML

#21077619
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37481) - you deserved it (9925)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44184) - you deserved it (5977)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

#16507836
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44238) - you deserved it (4191)

On 06/05/2011 at 12:14am - love - by longlostkid556 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML

#13949092
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36647) - you deserved it (5023)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30650) - you deserved it (2412)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, I was helping my friend with her little sister's birthday party. We were playing a game where you get up and switch seats if you've done a certain thing. One girl said to switch if you've kissed a boy. I watched as 18 12-year-olds switched seats with each other. I stayed sitting. I'm 17. FML

#3457854
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46231) - you deserved it (8151)

On 07/03/2009 at 4:09pm - love - by neverbeenkissed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in my room and I drew a Harry Potter lightning bolt on my forehead in eyeliner because it cheers me up. Then some friends came over, so we went out to get yogurt, and when I got back I realized the lightning bolt was still there. I'm in college. FML

#150971
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10773) - you deserved it (65784)

On 02/27/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by Fenny (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13589) - you deserved it (57972)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)



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