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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19533) - you deserved it (1682)
On 08/12/2011 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7733) - you deserved it (64853)
On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10924) - you deserved it (920)
On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my daughter told me that my head is shaped like a kidney bean and that I'm lucky she even talks to me in public. She's 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30381) - you deserved it (3743)
On 06/27/2011 at 12:46pm - kids - by MakeMyDay_27 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27223) - you deserved it (3132)
On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22586) - you deserved it (5027)
On 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I'm trying to come up with a plausible explanation for my co-workers as to why I have stitches in my face. I'm not sure I want to admit that I was clawed by a pigeon as I opened my garage door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (2441) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/10/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonyme - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I bought a dog to make me feel less lonely. He ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42547) - you deserved it (5456)
On 06/05/2011 at 8:23am - love - by Loveless - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9650) - you deserved it (31193)
On 05/19/2011 at 1:38pm - misc - by esoog - United States (California)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (7478)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28818) - you deserved it (9362)
On 05/14/2011 at 6:43am - health - by BrownDump - United States
Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26208) - you deserved it (10386)
On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (35070) - you deserved it (3351)
On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29734) - you deserved it (9032)
On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23279) - you deserved it (3051)
On 04/23/2011 at 9:11am - health - by cdn_steed - United States (New York)
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