About puppypuncher : Hi there. I'd be happy to get to know you if you're nice and stuff.
I have a passion for cows, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, video games, seafood, and soft pillows. If you like any of these we will get along.
I dislike people who are shallow and/or narcissistic. Individuals who act a certain way to impress others bug me too.
I love males with long hair and females with short hair.
I dislike scene, emo, or hipster kids for the most part. Only few I've met don't like to contradict themselves and look for attention.
Okay bye
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I asked my dad if my girlfriend could sleep over. He winked at me and agreed. When I brought her home, we went to my room for a quickie. There, I saw that my dad had taped multiple Richard Simmons posters to the wall, causing my girlfriend to suddenly come down with a "headache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8983) - you deserved it (12941)
On 05/11/2012 at 2:29pm - love - by cockblocked (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I overheard a girl and a guy sitting behind me on the bus who were talking about Skyrim, one of my favourite games. After a while, I turned around and, as a fellow gamer, thanked them for restoring my faith in humanity. They went very quiet. I'm now that weird guy on the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7812) - you deserved it (27218)
On 03/22/2012 at 2:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
I agree, your life sucks (6131) - you deserved it (16624)
On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23911) - you deserved it (3301)
On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30553) - you deserved it (2839)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by vsshopper (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17270) - you deserved it (3869)
On 02/05/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by oh.geez (woman) - United States
Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18768) - you deserved it (5740)
On 02/03/2012 at 5:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28437) - you deserved it (2414)
On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45509) - you deserved it (3029)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7365) - you deserved it (21042)
On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28217) - you deserved it (2800)
On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia
Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14048) - you deserved it (22191)
On 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by caught - United States (Washington)
Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21522) - you deserved it (2916)
On 01/08/2012 at 12:42pm - misc - by bellaskyeb - United States
Today, I decided to write a romantic email to my boyfriend describing how much I love and miss him. An hour later, I got an email back saying, "I think we need to discuss this." It seems I sent it to my teacher by mistake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (10235)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by mjbx (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40231) - you deserved it (2817)
On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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