punchline

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punchline

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 512
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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punchline's page activity

Visits<b>max367</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 4:11am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 10/29/2014 at 9:03pm<b>xCaboose27</b> - the 04/11/2014 at 12:32am<b>C7</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 4:44pm<b>Girosrabing</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 5:50pm<b>wopchop12</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:24pm<b>No_tag</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 8:40pm<b>Lheart</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 4:40am<b>TinyAsianMan</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 4:32pm

punchline's FML badges

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

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punchline's favorite FMLs

Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash. FML

by Ali / 07/07/2012 at 4:23pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was boarding a plane and a woman's bag started to fall. In the spur of the moment I thrust my arm up to catch it. I didn't catch the bag, but I did catch her boob. I had to sit next to her for the rest of the flight. FML

by babymine / 03/08/2012 at 11:45pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML

by wtf / 03/08/2012 at 4:03am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

by cfaul001 / 02/29/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 11:47am / United States / Animals

Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML

by Anonymous / 02/22/2012 at 11:47am / United States / Animals

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm / Canada / Love

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

by lotrgeek / 02/13/2012 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

by sarah / 02/11/2012 at 1:36am / United States / Love

Today, I had a testicular ultrasound. The ultrasound tech was a very attractive woman. This is the first time in the past four and a half years a woman has touched my package, and I had to get health issues to make it happen. FML

by BigDT / 01/28/2012 at 3:35am / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, in science class, we had to make play-dough with our lab partners. We were allowed to put one thing in it to make it more bouncy or rubbery. My partner said that he wanted to put a chicken wing in ours. FML

by Anonymous / 11/28/2011 at 10:45am / United States / Geek