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pumped_up_kicks's favorite FMLs

Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML

#18525821
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (6278)

On 12/16/2011 at 3:50am - misc - by Brit - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44938) - you deserved it (7010)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (14766)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

#4342060
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61229) - you deserved it (7547)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

#508489
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49873) - you deserved it (34301)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by emilyxoxoxo - United States (New Jersey)



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