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About pulpfiction : The heart symbol looks more like a vagina than the heart organ. Don't you think? Maybe our hearts really lay within our vaginas
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Today, I realized what mah mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her bieng from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." fat FML
Today , my mom had big news!! I've been trying to get her to quit smoking cuz of second hand smoke fir 20 years!! She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well!! Her big news? She's quitting!! She doesn't want to hurt the dog!! FML
Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer,ho 4 ten minutes blamd the incident of shifting weather patterns that signald the return of Jesus,ho was as she explaind, upset about the abortion rates in America an President Obama!! FML
Today... mah mom had mah girlfriend and me over. Out of the blue... she pulled out mah grandmother's wedding ring and gave it to me saying I can now propose. My girlfriend started screaming and said yes. I have been seeing someone else for 3 months and was going to break up with mah girlfriend tomorrow. FML
Today, after seieng a grl for a few weeks on an off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML
Today, I was in an online catroom speaking to tis girl tat I really it it off wit. Se ten confided in me tat se'd recently been dumped by er boyfriend an tat e was a jerk. A littliele later, we excanged potos. It was ma ex. FML
Today , I was teasing my cat with a piece of stringhen suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring , claws out , onto my privates. Fml
Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess I should have checkd my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms looool in them made a good impression. Fml
Taday as I was taking mah three year old daughter home from daycare , she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father , but she answered , "No , not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Friday 27 March 2015