puddles007

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puddles007

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 8 September 1996 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 386
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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puddles007's page activity

Visits<b>KushCrushin89</b> - the 04/24/2014 at 8:36am<b>Gregshelton8611</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 7:08am<b>Soninuva</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 11:28pm<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 12/21/2013 at 7:08am<b>sargges</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 5:03pm<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 1:19pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 10:17pm<b>avd0865</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 6:15pm<b>ireynkc</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 5:38pm<b>Gshelton09</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 4:18pm<b>hunter_56</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:42am<b>sugarshane007</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 6:49pm<b>pistolpete85</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:35am<b>jeep575</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 3:11pm<b>hilow212</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 3:11pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 2:49pm<b>SneakyCaveman</b> - the 10/21/2012 at 5:47pm

puddles007's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of puddles007's badges

puddles007's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

by Overworked / 09/30/2013 at 1:01am / United States / Health

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

by Nice Melons / 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm / United States / Work

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

by scared shitless in ohio / 09/25/2013 at 4:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

by hawkwardd / 09/12/2013 at 3:42am / Australia / Work

Today, I took my girlfriend to a public place before confessing that I've been seeing another woman, to avoid a dramatic scene. After being rushed to the hospital with a concussion and broken nose, I think it's safe to say my plan didn't go very well. FML

by verbaltodomestic / 09/08/2013 at 3:31pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2013 at 12:38pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Work

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

by me / 06/28/2013 at 11:51am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

by Anonymous / 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm / Canada (Quebec) / Work

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm / Germany (Saarland) / Holidays

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2012 at 8:32am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy