psyjoniz

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Offline (the 03/16/2016 at 2:53am)

psyjoniz

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 September 1977 (38 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1728
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About psyjoniz : Student of life.

psyjoniz's page activity

Visits<b>Dilexar</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 12:58am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 10:05pm<b>BiGTiMeNeRD</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:27pm<b>jttkkyt</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 5:00pm<b>decladon007</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 1:26pm<b>BlondBombShll88</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 4:59pm<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 11:10pm<b>madissin</b> - the 02/25/2016 at 12:06pm<b>hellraisedfire</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 3:13pm<b>Jesmassimo</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 10:37pm<b>iamahappypenguin</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 7:43am<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 11:01am<b>dec4y</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 9:40am<b>justdiebitches</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 11:55pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 10:47pm<b>Tripartita</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:07pm<b>ChloeKissyface44</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 10:45pm<b>jfreeman86</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 10:29am

Fucked!<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 5:10am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 7:54pm<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 8:14pm<b>jojo121511</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 9:46pm<b>Zenithbeauty</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 8:10am

psyjoniz's FML badges

Socialite

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of psyjoniz's badges

psyjoniz's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl I like asked me to a concert, saying she had an extra ticket. I ended up being the third wheel with her and her boyfriend. Had to pay $60 for the ticket too. FML

by J-Sauce / 02/22/2016 at 6:32pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm / United Kingdom / Love

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

by heartbroke / 11/03/2012 at 6:02am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

by SoSexy / 10/07/2012 at 6:25am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had to pry my sister's used tampon out from between my dog's jaws. FML

by banj0 / 10/06/2012 at 6:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I had to teach my younger brother to shave with a regular disposable razor because our dad uses an electric one and I'm the only other person in the family with enough facial hair to know how to use a razor. I probably would have been proud if I wasn't a girl. FML

by The Bearded Woman / 05/29/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, the school nurse called me in. She said she knew I was pregnant and she was worried about how it was affecting my grades. I'm not pregnant. Apparently I'm just stupid and fat. FML

by CharlieOrion / 05/04/2012 at 8:25am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

by yosenfal / 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Plymouth) / Intimacy

Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML

by gottalovefriends / 04/23/2012 at 12:04am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I started my brand new job. I was late because while repairing my favorite pair of high heels, I got superglue in my eye. They had to scrape my cornea and I have to wear an eye patch. I'm now the "new pirate" in the office. FML

by Anonymous / 04/04/2012 at 9:41pm / United States (Georgia) / Work