Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About psychopolarbear : I'm extremely curious about almost everything. I love horseback riding, kickboxing, archery, reading, and drawing. I also absolutely adore my silly Pitbull/Rottweiler pup, Rosie.
Music is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. I play the saxophone and a few other odd instruments. I speak enough to converse in German, which I very much enjoy learning more about.
I have friends on pretty much every continent. I'm kinda shy at first but once someone gets to know me the real trick is getting me to be quiet sometimes :D
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I was out shopping with my little sister. I wanted to try something on, so I put my bag in front of a changing room and jokingly told her to bark if someone came near. She ended up biting a lady who was trying to get into one of the changing rooms. FML
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML
Today, after being with my fiance for almost a decade, my future mother-in-law has been accusing me of being a gold digger because we want to buy a house together. She has conveniently forgotten her son was out of work for two years and I supported the both of us. FML
Today, at work, I dropped two bottles of wine on the floor. Unbelievably, they both didn't break. That, however, did not stop my boss from taking a few points away on my evaluation. My $3 raise is now reduced to $0.25. FML
Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML
Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML
Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML
Today, and for the past couple of days, my girlfriend's father has been trying to help me think of a way to propose. I decided to rehearse first, and that's how my girlfriend walked in on me "proposing" to her dad. FML
Friday 29 May 2015