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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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prttyyngthng

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prttyyngthng
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 22 January 1988 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 66628
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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prttyyngthng's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

#6725334 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (24140) - you deserved it (1767)

On 12/12/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's pre-school. Apparently, she is being suspended, for answering; "What do your parents do at home?" She told them, "My parents fuck." FML

#6712384 (176)

I agree, your life sucks (9421) - you deserved it (24056)

On 12/11/2009 at 7:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up lying on the ground outside with a horrible headache. I camped out in my tree house last night. FML

#6710619 (63)

I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (6847)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by B-Man (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I had a go at my husband for spending way too much time in front of the TV, he pointed the remote control at me while miming turning down the volume in order to make me shut up. FML

#6508757 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (17679) - you deserved it (9245)

On 11/29/2009 at 3:55am - misc - by Nomoresandwish (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

#6494207 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (7986) - you deserved it (20890)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by TooTallNiCo (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (49767) - you deserved it (4754)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I kissed my iced over window to know what kissing Edward Cullen would be like. My neighbor saw. My first reaction was to come up with a cover story. I licked the window and wiped my sleeve over it to look like I was cleaning it. My neighbor came over later and gave me an early Christmas gift. Windex. FML

#6472262 (431)

I agree, your life sucks (4362) - you deserved it (55700)

On 11/27/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by obsessed (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57270) - you deserved it (8514)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (9233) - you deserved it (24021)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML

#6355717 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (7840) - you deserved it (32032)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

#6324167 (166)

I agree, your life sucks (32230) - you deserved it (2076)

On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML

#6321583 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (22271) - you deserved it (2465)

On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

#6316031 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (46771) - you deserved it (2378)

On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after dating for almost five years, my boyfriend stated that I have a "perfect and amazing personality" but that my looks are not what he "envisioned himself spending the rest of his life with." In other words, I'm ugly. FML

#6310965 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (2438)

On 11/15/2009 at 9:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching Pokémon with my daughter when she told me that I reminded her of her favorite Pokémon. Feeling good about it, I asked which one. She pointed to the screen and said "Snorlax!" The fat and lazy one. FML

#6310679 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (5315)

On 11/15/2009 at 8:45am - kids - by dessaye (woman) - Singapore