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proflover

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proflover
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 879
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9753) - you deserved it (45608)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, my headphones were broken, so I fixed them with super glue. Without thinking, I stuck them in my ear and listened to some music. When it came time to take them out, I couldn't. FML

#7644326
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6829) - you deserved it (42421)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:25pm - misc - by Lance (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (7424)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, at a bar, a woman approched me and tried to set me up with her friend. Looking around, the only people in the bar were a man reading the paper and a very ugly woman, looking at me and smiling. I worriedly replied, "I'm sorry, but I'm gay." Turns out her friend was the one reading the paper. FML

#7295909
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9500) - you deserved it (34591)

On 01/12/2010 at 5:26am - love - by awkward23 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friends let me win at strip poker so I wouldn't take off my clothes. FML

#7293209
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (5441)

On 01/12/2010 at 12:42am - misc - by Absent - France

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23928) - you deserved it (30639)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML

#6811696
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32597) - you deserved it (3398)

On 12/18/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by mclovin09 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML

#6792235
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10780) - you deserved it (43850)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Mike (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend invited me for dinner to meet his parents. Turns out his stepmother is my gynecologist. FML

#6645484
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34156) - you deserved it (2344)

On 12/07/2009 at 2:00am - misc - by Twiddle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started growing hair on my upper lip. I'm finally becoming a man! Too bad I'm a 17 year old girl. FML

#6594462
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32367) - you deserved it (4190)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:55am - health - by harry (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67686) - you deserved it (11292)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

#6377281
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39743) - you deserved it (6553)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16212) - you deserved it (10687)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, everyone was telling me a girl I like wanted me to ask her on a date. I approached her, and asked if it was true. She said yes, but only because she wanted to reject me in person. FML

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144507) - you deserved it (5023)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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