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probs's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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probs's favorite FMLs
Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML
by Lexi801 / 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
by onlywantuanyway / 09/05/2014 at 6:59pm / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 12:46am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by cat lady / 08/30/2014 at 7:56am / Norway (Rogaland) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 11:43am / India (Maharashtra) / Geek
Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML
by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a face time. Busted. FML
by Ob3nie / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
by soundslikeadumbcommentersituation / 07/11/2014 at 4:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by morgan_rumm / 07/11/2014 at 4:02pm / Miscellaneous
Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML
by stalked / 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into an elderly man's room in the hospital I work to give him his food. After he struggled to sit up, I noticed his hand move down towards his crotch. He looked me straight in the eye and said, "I have to do this to my scrotum because it gets sweaty and sticks to my leg." FML
by scrotumscratcher / 07/25/2013 at 1:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Wtf / 07/10/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML
by bntje / 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm / Netherlands (Overijssel) / Miscellaneous
Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML
by disgruntled stepdaughter / 03/06/2013 at 2:11pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
by notapervert / 02/28/2013 at 2:57am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full… Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the… Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML