Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pris

Offline (the 05/20/2015 at 4:11am) | Search for a member

pris

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1889
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

pris's page activity

Visits<b>ethan_unoxx</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 3:27pm<b>imasexyburrito</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 10:11pm<b>bubblooz</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 11:49pm

pris's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of pris's badges

pris's favorite FMLs

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32601) - you deserved it (4677)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (35648)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40936) - you deserved it (5076)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (42598)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I got a gift-wrapped package in the mail from my racist mother-in-law. She's always hated me, so I thought it was a bit strange. Inside was a squirt gun and a note telling me to take my "black ass" for a walk around a police station with it, followed with a smiley face. FML

#21325871
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40362) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (2711)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33491) - you deserved it (3473)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35193) - you deserved it (6746)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

#21303913
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (2291)

On 11/22/2014 at 1:37pm - kids - by uterurist (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42713) - you deserved it (3496)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30557) - you deserved it (5777)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my OCD reached a new high when I used a correction pen to white-out an eyelash which was photocopied onto every single page of my reading material. I did it because the eyelash was too distracting and I couldn't finish reading the article without the urge to rip it into shreds. FML

#21273246
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29976) - you deserved it (4912)

On 10/07/2014 at 11:49pm - misc - by waternixie (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (3840)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44660) - you deserved it (7032)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: