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An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47854) - you deserved it (4811)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I caught my boyfriend of two years cheating on me. Instead of the usual excuses, he panicked and claimed he was my boyfriend's long-lost twin brother. He even tried to put on a fake accent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31220) - you deserved it (2382)
On 09/19/2011 at 10:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that I've been paying student fees for the wrong account. Apparently I have been paying for some other student's tuition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25482) - you deserved it (5548)
On 01/26/2011 at 3:52am - money - by AlreadyInDebt (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (2248)
On 01/13/2011 at 12:48am - money - by skyhigh - United States (Texas)
Today, I hooked up with a girl from the bar. We went back to my place and started making out, I took off her shirt and bra and started kissing her breasts. I felt her chest hair tickle my tongue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52608) - you deserved it (19744)
On 06/03/2009 at 2:06am - intimacy - by galen (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, while arriving at my best friend's wedding, I accidentally ran over her 2 dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44707) - you deserved it (16512)
On 05/30/2009 at 2:04pm - animals - by lfssecond - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7951) - you deserved it (38286)
On 05/29/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by M2thaM (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5476) - you deserved it (60068)
On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I got a phone call from a number I didn't recognize. It was a man with a speech impediment, and I began imitating him. He was the manager of a store I applied at. He wanted to arrange an interview. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8238) - you deserved it (155874)
On 05/24/2009 at 10:50am - work - by oopsie (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55863) - you deserved it (9422)
On 05/24/2009 at 1:18am - misc - by Imretarded (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46909) - you deserved it (6738)
On 05/23/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by partygirlxxx - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75245) - you deserved it (35492)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I spent 3 hours making a birthday card for my boyfriend, delicately cutting each letter out of printed coloured paper. He used it as a coffee coaster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (5945)
On 05/21/2009 at 5:11am - love - by astraboy (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (16290)
On 05/18/2009 at 1:25pm - misc - by poop (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML
I agree, your life sucks (60120) - you deserved it (6121)
On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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