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princessbeee

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  • Number of visits : 963
  • Number of comments : 23
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princessbeee's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

#13836763
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11354) - you deserved it (25751)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

#13777099
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8465) - you deserved it (30956)

On 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm - misc - by johnboy - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32846) - you deserved it (19844)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

#13373695
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (8544)

On 10/09/2010 at 1:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43531) - you deserved it (4715)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up finding out I had a wet dream last night. About someone other than my girlfriend. I don't remember anything about the dream, but my girlfriend remembers everything, aparently I talked through out my dream, she was right next to me listening. FML

#13309964
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (5070)

On 10/03/2010 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that if I put my ankles on my boyfriends shoulders while we are having sex, I will pee myself. FML

#13152326
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29181) - you deserved it (12217)

On 09/22/2010 at 1:37am - intimacy - by noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

#13145145
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22551) - you deserved it (6678)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm - health - by forgotten (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was telling my friend about how my boyfriend never does anything nice for me. Confused, she replied, "That's odd, he's always doing nice things for me." FML

#13037540
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31740) - you deserved it (3557)

On 09/13/2010 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after going on a blind date with a man I had met on facebook, we decided to go back to his apartment. All was going good until he took off his pants, only to reveal that he was wearing a diaper. FML

#12929120
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33838) - you deserved it (16975)

On 09/06/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

#12838933
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54946) - you deserved it (3832)

On 08/31/2010 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by ashlee (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was really hot in my house so I pulled my shorts down so I was just in my boxers. My family and I were watching tv and I got a spontaneous erection. When I discreetly tried to pull my shorts back up, my penis flipped out of my boxers. FML

#12792346
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33209) - you deserved it (22146)

On 08/28/2010 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Sicko - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

#12677495
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39406) - you deserved it (11978)

On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after a costly fix for my brakes that failed a while back as I was going down a hill, I found a $130 bill in the mail attached to a speed camera photo of me shitting myself. FML

#12657021
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24466) - you deserved it (3388)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25am - money - by car (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took some new allergy medicine I had never tried before, and I didn't bother reading the side effects. I then went to school. It was almost an hour before dismissal when I had felt a warm feeling on my legs. One of the side effects to my new medicine was bladder control problems. FML

#11906376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15068) - you deserved it (17006)

On 07/15/2010 at 8:17pm - misc - by darthinvader (man) - United States (Florida)



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