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princessbeee

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  • Number of visits : 1024
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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princessbeee's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML

#17035825
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33695) - you deserved it (7341)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, after running a couple of miles, I went upstairs into my air-conditioned room to cool off. Apparently, my mom walked past my room and heard me breathing heavily. Later, she had my dad give me a talk about masturbation. FML

#17022194
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34455) - you deserved it (3039)

On 07/08/2011 at 12:20am - intimacy - by chumleevil - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML

#16877997
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55050) - you deserved it (7106)

On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I had to take care of my best friend while she was drunk. This meant changing her pee-soaked sheets, making her take a bath to get all the baby powder off, and making her put clothes on as she tried to run out the house naked. FML

#16277369
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (4113)

On 05/21/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13764) - you deserved it (69157)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55167) - you deserved it (27677)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

#15514869
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45745) - you deserved it (5741)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

#15333405
379 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19384) - you deserved it (88686)

On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

#15218324
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39002) - you deserved it (10545)

On 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

#15127410
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53572) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/26/2011 at 3:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

#15059457
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36635) - you deserved it (13216)

On 02/21/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by anonymous -

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49310) - you deserved it (41008)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

#14140366
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17491) - you deserved it (38526)

On 12/09/2010 at 7:31am - intimacy - by NeverDrinkingAgain - Canada

Today, I woke up to the face of Billy, the puppet from Saw, staring down at me. I was so scared, I wet myself instantly. It was my cousin in a mask, who is staying over for Thanksgiving weekend. FML

#13978188
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24740) - you deserved it (5506)

On 11/25/2010 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, when I got home, I went into my room to find a Bratz doll and a Ken doll laying naked, on top of each other on my bed. Attached to them was a note that stated, "Please, use your imagination and find other ways besides porn to get excited. The computer keeps getting viruses. Love, Mom." FML

#13927798
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17548) - you deserved it (48467)

On 11/21/2010 at 6:43pm - intimacy - by sydysyd (woman) - United States (Washington)



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