About prettygirlsonly : Literature student // If you give me something fuchsia ill adore you forever :P
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49579) - you deserved it (39253)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55690) - you deserved it (4415)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I got into my driving instructors car for my first lesson. He looked at me, then said, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told about your disabilities, what do you have?" I'm not disabled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50762) - you deserved it (2305)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by wow. (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11470) - you deserved it (51835)
On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - animals - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (51920) - you deserved it (18232)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44987) - you deserved it (11200)
On 05/05/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by airborne (man) - United States (California)
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (135123) - you deserved it (8294)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46203) - you deserved it (6829)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39746) - you deserved it (2482)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6352) - you deserved it (58892)
On 05/04/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by daddyslittlegirl250 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50896) - you deserved it (21054)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10958) - you deserved it (42279)
On 05/04/2009 at 1:40am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9955) - you deserved it (43687)
On 05/04/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by CriminalMistake (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45729) - you deserved it (3500)
On 05/03/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by xoxo96 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML
I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (74875)
On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
