Literature student // If you give me something fuchsia ill adore you forever :P
Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I proceeded to create an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41144) - you totally deserved it (27867)
On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how this is for you, I proceeded to play for about 3 seconds when I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46821) - you totally deserved it (3420)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I got into my driving instructors car for my first lesson. He looked at me, then said, "I'm sorry, but I wasn't told about your disabilities, what do you have?" I'm not disabled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you totally deserved it (1783)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by wow. (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting all in my face so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting at it I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9095) - you totally deserved it (38418)
On 05/06/2009 at 10:07am - misc - by pissedoffandon (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I saw a couple of beetles doing it. Jealous, I quickly crushed them with my boot while screaming, "IF I CAN'T DO IT, NOBODY WILL!" All the little kids playing on the local playground, including parents supervising them, gave me dirty, confused looks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12090) - you totally deserved it (70413)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)
Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML
I agree, your life sucks (42656) - you totally deserved it (12686)
On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was driving home at night when I saw a billboard flash "report drunk drivers". 15 minuted later, I saw someone drive recklessly as if they were drunk. When I called the cops, I got pulled over by another cop for talking on my cell phone. I got a $150 ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39266) - you totally deserved it (8684)
On 05/05/2009 at 9:11pm - money - by airborne (man) - United States (California)
Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (85832) - you totally deserved it (4047)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I paid for $60 haircut from a professional stylist. I look like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was that during the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to go see that new Star Trek movie?" Now wherever I go people are giving me the 'live long in prosper' sign. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39602) - you totally deserved it (5586)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:21am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35079) - you totally deserved it (1909)
On 05/05/2009 at 2:11am - work - by kekumbas (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4818) - you totally deserved it (49058)
On 05/04/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by daddyslittlegirl250 (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, while watching TV, I danced, sang along, and helped Dora the Explorer get to her Grandmother's house. It was the most fun I've had all year. I'm 21. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43571) - you totally deserved it (17647)
On 05/04/2009 at 5:09am - kids - by Amey (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went into work to set up a new store. There was a lot of lifting so I dressed casual. This happened to be the day the owner brought in his conservative family to check out the store. I was wearing a shirt that says "everyone poops" and has a donkey and elephant pooping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8933) - you totally deserved it (35860)
On 05/04/2009 at 1:40am - work - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8045) - you totally deserved it (37194)
On 05/04/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by CriminalMistake (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went to a Bat Mitzvah. We played a game where all of the girls grabbed one of their shoes and placed it in the middle. Then, all of the guys had to pick a shoe. Whatever guy picked the shoe, the girl had to dance with. No one picked my shoe. Everyone else was dancing except for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40279) - you totally deserved it (2771)
On 05/03/2009 at 4:09pm - misc - by xoxo96 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
