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preacher09

Offline (the 05/27/2015 at 4:49am) | Search for a member

preacher09

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 February 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2713
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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preacher09's page activity

Visits<b>THEGREATROBERT</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:16am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:32pm<b>AdrianG</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 4:25am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:00am<b>jillytc</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 4:47pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 2:39pm<b>mooseapoo12</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 5:25pm<b>Tempted1</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:02pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 3:34pm<b>hellokittyxxx</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 5:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 4:47pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 12:49pm<b>MOLLMcAWESOME</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 6:15am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 4:54pm<b>pumboc</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:34am

preacher09's FML badges

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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of preacher09's badges

preacher09's favorite FMLs

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

#21069947
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48230) - you deserved it (4327)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:18pm - love - by You Are My Sunshine (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML

#21069587
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45315) - you deserved it (5753)

On 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm - kids - by hot sweet.... not (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take our relationship to the next level. I assumed since we live together that he meant marriage. I was wrong; the next level is me jacking him off with my feet. FML

#21069326
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51006) - you deserved it (6714)

On 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was shopping, when a man pointed at me and said to his friend, "Her. She's the one." He replied, "Yes, she'll do fine." I'm scared. FML

Today, I told my husband how frisky I was feeling, and asked him what he was going to do about it. He reached into our fruit bowl, tossed me a banana and told me to work it out, then returned to his video game. FML

#21061692
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52905) - you deserved it (7864)

On 02/15/2014 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52484) - you deserved it (10348)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I check my phone regularly for calls or texts from her. I take her out to eat frequently, and we sleep in the same bed sometimes. Today I realized the closest thing I have to a boyfriend is my grandma. FML

#21054270
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38919) - you deserved it (6805)

On 02/08/2014 at 10:12am - misc - by grandma - United States (Georgia)

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47540) - you deserved it (10566)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to accept the fact that I'm going bald, after I noticed the hair on my chest is longer than the hair on my head. FML

#21037094
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36935) - you deserved it (3504)

On 01/23/2014 at 12:13pm - health - by Hairy_Potter (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I was watching Ratatouille. Piece of advice for starving students: never watch it when you've only eaten two apples in two days, or you'll find yourself in the ridiculous position of being jealous of a fucking rat. FML

#21033122
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41683) - you deserved it (7664)

On 01/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by I.Want.Food. (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48071) - you deserved it (7078)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51468) - you deserved it (9647)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, someone thought it would be funny to steal the precious stuffed bear I've had since childhood and leave a ransom note in its place. FML

#21031005
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40604) - you deserved it (5179)

On 01/17/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I downloaded Grindr to my phone. It also downloaded to my mom's phone, my dad's phone, and my brother's phone. FML

#21030290
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40474) - you deserved it (21478)

On 01/16/2014 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53095) - you deserved it (11941)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)



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