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preacher09

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preacher09
  • Town/Country : Atlanta, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 January 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 901
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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preacher09's favorite FMLs

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML

#20728644
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45590) - you deserved it (8912)

On 06/16/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by sex deprived (woman) - United States

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

#20727924
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49338) - you deserved it (4507)

On 06/15/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML

#20727770
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51943) - you deserved it (7245)

On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37329) - you deserved it (3431)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML

#20726806
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44784) - you deserved it (5743)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

#20726743
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43757) - you deserved it (3946)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML

#20726687
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60491) - you deserved it (3695)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML

#20726002
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39413) - you deserved it (4197)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41772) - you deserved it (6784)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66777) - you deserved it (6168)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML

#20724782
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34295) - you deserved it (3585)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

#20724700
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43261) - you deserved it (6301)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by :( - United States (Colorado)

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39716) - you deserved it (5475)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

#20724048
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49298) - you deserved it (3314)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53490) - you deserved it (3993)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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