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preacher09

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preacher09

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 20 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1220
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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preacher09's page activity

Visits<b>THEGREATROBERT</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 10:16am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 1:32pm<b>AdrianG</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 4:25am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 12/08/2013 at 11:00am<b>jillytc</b> - the 11/16/2013 at 4:47pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 2:39pm<b>mooseapoo12</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 5:25pm<b>Tempted1</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:02pm<b>olpally</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 3:34pm<b>hellokittyxxx</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 5:25pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/14/2013 at 4:47pm<b>1PersonIsMyWorld</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 12:49pm<b>MOLLMcAWESOME</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 6:15am<b>Welshite</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 4:54pm<b>pumboc</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 9:34am

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preacher09's favorite FMLs

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48544) - you deserved it (4919)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was washing up in a public bathroom, when I looked up for a second and saw a kid in the mirror staring back at me. I gasped, as I thought the place had been empty. He whispered, "It's time to die." I screamed and ran out, only to hear him burst out laughing behind me. FML

#20817313
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49689) - you deserved it (8423)

On 08/02/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by lights on forever (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I finally felt ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. It all went great, until I tried putting the condom on him. In the process, I managed to nick his penis not once, but three times with my nails. His eyes brimmed with tears and he completely lost his erection. FML

#20817205
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46283) - you deserved it (25240)

On 08/02/2013 at 3:44pm - intimacy - by fuck but no fuck (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I turned 17. My parents completely forgot it was my birthday, and when I reminded them, my dad thought it was my 18th. He was ecstatic and mentioned that I can "finally get the hell out." FML

#20816873
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47971) - you deserved it (3064)

On 08/02/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

#20816318
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51556) - you deserved it (11147)

On 08/02/2013 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whyeventry? (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

#20815318
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59072) - you deserved it (6530)

On 08/01/2013 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by countryblumpkin (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML

#20814794
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67240) - you deserved it (5801)

On 08/01/2013 at 3:36am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while taking a walk in the forest, someone approached me and asked to borrow the knife I had clipped to my pocket. I happily obliged, assuming he just needed it as a tool. Instead, he used the knife to mug me, taking my cellphone and my wallet. I was robbed with my own knife. FML

Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML

#20813368
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59758) - you deserved it (6342)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, one of my employees filed a complaint against me. He claims that I "pick on him" and make him do things I "wouldn't do". Apparently, making him do his job and trying to convince him to wear clean clothes that don't smell like garbage is considered a bad thing. FML

#20813192
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48036) - you deserved it (4138)

On 07/31/2013 at 10:15am - work - by Zatnikatel (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52751) - you deserved it (3193)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42484) - you deserved it (6007)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML

#20807504
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (4191)

On 07/28/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Mia (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my dad walked in on me filming a Harlem Shake video. He stared for a moment, said "Son, I don't have a problem with homosexuals, but... nevermind." then shook his head and walked out. FML

#20806774
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37008) - you deserved it (23577)

On 07/27/2013 at 6:43pm - misc - by ¬_¬ (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my family and I visited my cousins in Virginia. When we arrived, we found that they already had guests over. I've stuttered my whole life, so when they asked me what my name was, I stuttered for several seconds trying to say my name. Everyone burst out laughing. FML

#20805698
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52046) - you deserved it (3407)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:47am - misc - by Odnel (man) - United States (Virginia)



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