About powelale0000 : Just a simple girl in a not so simple world.
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powelale0000's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/27/2014 at 1:51pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, as my kitten was sleeping on my lap, my boyfriend crept up on us and yelled, "BOO!" to make me jump. I wasn't scared, but the cat was. He tensed up and jumped to the floor. He also apparently had the runny shits, spraying me and the couch on his way down. FML
by nenette / 11/12/2014 at 5:50pm / France / Animals
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML
by yee-whore / 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by eh / 10/06/2014 at 3:12pm / Azerbaijan (Baki) / Miscellaneous
Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML
by PickYourselfUp / 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
by super maman / 09/29/2014 at 11:08pm / France (Midi-Pyrenees) / Kids
Today, on my first day of sailing practice, I managed to sit on a metal cleat. After being admitted to the ER, I was informed that I had two vaginal lacerations that needed surgery. The nurse tried to convince me it was my lucky day, because the hospital café was serving vanilla pudding. FML
by Anonymous / 09/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML
by jazzie7719 / 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by shelookslikemiley / 09/23/2014 at 8:48am / Australia / Geek
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
by clairebear104 / 09/18/2014 at 11:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
- Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was… Today, my date asked if I could drive his friend home before we went out for breakfast. His friend… Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to…
- Today, my crush got together with a dude on my 18th birthday party after I tried my best to win her… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling…