I love cupcakes and fmls.
Today, for my birthday, my mom presented me with a $4,000 check to pay for my braces. I've been very self-conscious about my teeth for years. Everyone applauded and told me how happy they were for me. Later, my mom asked me for the check back. Apparently it was just meant to make her look good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46667) - you totally deserved it (959)
On 08/27/2009 at 1:23pm - money - by crookedteeth (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10196) - you totally deserved it (43047)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my little sister thought it'd be cool to pierce my nose while I was asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34211) - you totally deserved it (2030)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:17am - misc - by NoseInPain (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9724) - you totally deserved it (27498)
On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I ran over a cat while driving home. I tried to keep myself together but couldn't help but cry because of how bad I felt. Through my tears I failed to notice a porcupine in the middle of the road. Yep, I hit him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35842) - you totally deserved it (10115)
On 08/18/2009 at 1:02am - misc - by anugla (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got my first kiss. I'm 56. FML
I agree, your life sucks (81867) - you totally deserved it (16002)
On 08/16/2009 at 12:33am - love - by bathtime_ (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML
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On 08/13/2009 at 11:23am - intimacy - by esb (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27620) - you totally deserved it (2135)
On 08/12/2009 at 8:10pm - misc - by ForeverEmbarrassed (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39358) - you totally deserved it (1393)
On 08/11/2009 at 11:07pm - kids - by ahhahaha (man) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was at the beach with friends and I fell asleep while I was tanning. When I woke up, everyone was laughing hysterically. I asked what was so funny, and one of my friends replies, "you farted so loud in your sleep that you woke yourself up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34114) - you totally deserved it (4404)
On 08/11/2009 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend who likes to get high was driving me insisting he wasn't currently high. A family of deer was standing on the side of the road and he pulled over by them waited until they walked closer to us and said, "what seems to be the problem officers?" He wasn't kidding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15164) - you totally deserved it (25777)
On 08/07/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by Jstar - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14759) - you totally deserved it (39051)
On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was introduced to my future stepmother, but it turns out that I already know her. Not only are we the same age and went to the same high school, when we were in the same math class together the teacher would often confuse our names because "we could pass as twins". FML
I agree, your life sucks (46446) - you totally deserved it (1217)
On 08/06/2009 at 4:45am - misc - by whatismydadthinking (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49638) - you totally deserved it (2171)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the Polish border when I found my passport was gone. I contacted the last place I stayed at and the owner said he would handle it. I reluctantly agreed as I was being charged international rates. Apparently, "taking care of it" means telling the embassy I'm retarded. FML
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On 07/31/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)
