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potatomanjr

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potatomanjr

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 10 September 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 496
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About potatomanjr : I'm just reading FMLs.. Feel free to message me.. I like to talk.

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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potatomanjr's favorite FMLs

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44859) - you deserved it (5036)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, at work, my boss went to the single-stall bathroom on our floor. The next thing I know, I'm on suspension pending review because some asshole left an upper-decker in the toilet. Since I'm the office prankster, all suspicion is now on me. I've been framed by my own colleagues. FML

#17888360
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18056) - you deserved it (12802)

On 10/02/2011 at 4:35pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

#17884513
422 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32767) - you deserved it (9214)

On 10/02/2011 at 3:27am - kids - by TraumatizedMother (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after five long years of having been together, my boyfriend told me that he wanted to take our relationship to the "next level". We now have a Sims relationship. FML

#17814910
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28277) - you deserved it (4409)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I went to run outside, only to smack straight into our sliding glass door. Just a few hours beforehand, my mom put up a strip of colored tape to stop this from happening. FML

#17805536
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8402) - you deserved it (26942)

On 09/22/2011 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (8241)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML

#17611865
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30269) - you deserved it (3410)

On 08/29/2011 at 11:38am - health - by KJL - United States

Today, I had to say "Put away your burrito," "that ruler is not a light saber," and "stop making dog noises" all in the same sentence at work. I teach Advanced Placement Calculus to high school seniors. FML

#17526799
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30386) - you deserved it (4647)

On 08/20/2011 at 3:42am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (3445)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent it by replying to the last text sent. I'm now responsible for traumatizing my 12 year old niece who could only reply, "Like Jeopardy?" FML

#16842955
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9978) - you deserved it (42929)

On 06/25/2011 at 12:32am - intimacy - by PandaMantis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working the drive-thru at McDonalds, and as I handed out a Diet coke to the customer, the man started growling and yelled "HULK SMASH!" He smashed the cup with two fists and drove off. I was drenched in soda. FML

#16827191
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35217) - you deserved it (4483)

On 06/24/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Sam (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I saw a woman run down my street screaming, "Fuck you cops! I can drive under the influence if I want to!" It took me a second to realize it was my mother. FML

#16474078
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44069) - you deserved it (3121)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10771) - you deserved it (47857)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (29506)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -



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