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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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popy

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popy
  • Town/Country : kansas city, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 505
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About popy : i have an older sister thats quite the ____ (fill in the blank with very bad word) and my life is basically f#%ing hell

popy's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

popy's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (57260) - you deserved it (8511)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a new cat. I tried to reenact the opening scene from Lion King, where in Simba gets held up for everyone to see. The fan was on when I lifted my cat up. FML

#5990692 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (8388) - you deserved it (48254)

On 10/25/2009 at 1:18pm - animals - by stixx (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (8856) - you deserved it (25630)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized I'm missing my diamond earrings. After ripping apart the vacuum bag and exhausting all other options I'm pretty sure my new cat ate them. I'm going to go sift through several days worth of cat shit now. FML

#5652102 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (22306) - you deserved it (4163)

On 10/04/2009 at 10:19pm - animals - by FellingShitty (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

#5565061 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (9998) - you deserved it (23165)

On 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by explodingpupppet (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

#5562076 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (15674) - you deserved it (3023)

On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML

#5550225 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51890) - you deserved it (3371)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I was preparing to perform with my marching band at a competition. Right before we went on, a tuba player friend of mine offered to help me stretch. He wound up snapping my bra. I'm a drum major, and had to conduct the entire show while my boobs were falling out. FML

#5510912 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (3627)

On 09/27/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by commando - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a weight loss 'before and after' advertisement and I wished I could at least look like the 'before'. FML

#5301983 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (26171) - you deserved it (16034)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was called by my son's school. He had been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse, my handwriting looking like a 6 year olds or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551 (526)

I agree, your life sucks (5781) - you deserved it (71973)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML

#5289656 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (8602) - you deserved it (59423)

On 09/16/2009 at 9:24am - animals - by nipped (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was mowing lawns for my summer job. I noticed next to me a shiny new corvette being washed by the owner. I gave a friendly wave, just as I heard a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. FML

#4046446 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (37597) - you deserved it (3160)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by ferrin10 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

#1259503 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (60057) - you deserved it (6059)

On 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm - intimacy - by snotface (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

#185266 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (48380) - you deserved it (8475)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm - love - by ak (man) - United States (Alaska)