popper5

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popper5

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 639
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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popper5's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

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popper5's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 7:31pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

by Anonymous / 07/30/2012 at 11:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my mom was screaming at me and said, "I wish I'd never adopted you." I guess I'm adopted then. FML

by Thebestman123 / 08/04/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

by notinthebutt / 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm / United States (Minnesota) / Money

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

by yummy / 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML

by Anonymous / 03/05/2011 at 6:43am / France (Alsace) / Love

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML

by retard99 / 03/21/2010 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML

by lonestar / 02/03/2010 at 8:57am / United States (North Carolina) / Love

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

by Krissy / 01/25/2010 at 3:36am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML

by screwed / 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML

by Ballshurt / 09/07/2009 at 12:57am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

by hunnydoll / 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that sitting in the back of your car from 8-9 p.m. talking with a friend in a park area is suspicious enough behavior to have cops called on you, then for backup to arrive. FML

by suspiciouspeople / 08/05/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, the girl I've had a crush on forever asked me why the pin on my Letterman jacket had two guys doing it. I told her it was for participating in a wrestling tournament. And she responded, "Oh I thought you were finally coming out of the closet!" FML

by Seanzy / 03/30/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (California) / Love