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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13524) - you deserved it (58383)
On 05/29/2011 at 11:34pm - intimacy - by yummy - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found my mother in tears, so I asked her what was wrong. She told me, "It's your father, he wants a divorce..." I asked if he'd met another woman, and my mom replied "No, not a woman..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45172) - you deserved it (3521) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/05/2011 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous - France (Alsace)
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9252) - you deserved it (63973)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend on MSN. I screen-copied my desktop to show her the conversation I was having with my best friend. Minutes later she replied asking why I had a porn site opened on the other tab. Oops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6489) - you deserved it (34622)
On 03/21/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by retard99 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend accused me of deleting my texts from my phone because I'm afraid of him finding out about another man in my life. Truth is, I don't have a life outside of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21489) - you deserved it (3928)
On 02/03/2010 at 8:57am - love - by lonestar (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9623) - you deserved it (2460)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my boyfriend called and asked me why I love him. I told him because he's always there for me and continues to put up with my bipolar disorder. He promptly said "not anymore" and hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32171) - you deserved it (3492)
On 10/30/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by screwed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41074) - you deserved it (5063)
On 09/07/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Ballshurt (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9647) - you deserved it (57203)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that sitting in the back of your car from 8-9 p.m. talking with a friend in a park area is suspicious enough behavior to have cops called on you, then for backup to arrive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (3501)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by suspiciouspeople (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527149) - you deserved it (319754)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461978) - you deserved it (573899)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches... They use centimeters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (33197)
On 01/29/2009 at 10:32am - intimacy - by KD - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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