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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my grandparents are in town for the weekend and are staying in our guest bedroom. This morning I went upstairs to get a drink of water only to see my 75 year old grandfather standing stark naked with the fridge door open. He then asks me if we have any coffee creamer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (1688)
On 05/05/2009 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76001) - you deserved it (6613)
On 04/30/2009 at 11:11am - health - by buymeadrank (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I finally got my cast taken off my leg after a long month of crutches. I was so excited, until four dead spiders fell out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69466) - you deserved it (2857)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:53am - animals - by dasbooot (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that the horrible stench haunting my apartment for the past week was the decomposing corpse of my freedom loving gerbil underneath the bed that I've been sleeping on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37129) - you deserved it (8137)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:52am - misc - by broomrape (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47855) - you deserved it (8217)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I read a PostSecret that said "I'm afraid my thighs will start to touch soon." My thighs have always touched. I didn't even know thighs weren't supposed to touch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47855) - you deserved it (8217)
On 04/29/2009 at 12:13am - health - by fat_thighs (woman) - United States (California)
Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45821) - you deserved it (11380)
On 04/28/2009 at 9:07pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my mother sent a letter to my best friend trying to comfort her over the death of her mother. She signed the letter "LOL, Jen" thinking LOL stood for "lots of love." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55492) - you deserved it (4665)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by unlolable4321 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while at work in a subscription TV call center, a 71 year old male customer went into explicit detail about the Adult's Only programming that he enjoys, including all the kinky things he learns from said programming and tries out on his 70 year old wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60146) - you deserved it (4713)
On 04/28/2009 at 5:44am - intimacy - by Lockie (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, at work I grabbed some customer keys off the board. I was checking out their cool flashlight keychain. At the exact moment I realized it wasn't a keychain, I pepper sprayed myself directly in the right eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11240) - you deserved it (48591)
On 04/28/2009 at 3:47am - work - by jdubious (man) - United States
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (48022) - you deserved it (8299)
On 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm - love - by theatreismylife (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18471) - you deserved it (45647)
On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was looking at my recommendations on Amazon, which included several vibrators. Just a few days earlier I was looking at books on anger management. Amazon thinks I need to get laid. They're right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53469) - you deserved it (6540)
On 04/24/2009 at 6:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38622) - you deserved it (15556)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to the mall with a couple of friends. While walking through the parking lot, we saw a very dirty car. You couldn't even see the inside of the car through the windows. I thought it would be funny to trace on the window, "Wash Me." After doing so, the driver got out of the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7048) - you deserved it (44879)
On 04/24/2009 at 12:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Monday 20 May 2013
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