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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I found out that my father, who is divorced from my mother, has set up a lawsuit against her and that I am required to go to court and testify against her as a witness. I've tried to keep neutral for six years, and I'll go to jail if I don't show up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56928) - you deserved it (2031)
On 07/07/2009 at 1:46am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39116) - you deserved it (7158)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by JSeth (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32641) - you deserved it (2328)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:18am - animals - by Grossedouttt - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She's not actually a lesbian. She has been using our relationship to piss off her conservative parents. We've been together for over a year, and I've been in love with her for over five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57459) - you deserved it (6153)
On 07/02/2009 at 9:33pm - love - by heart-broken (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64885) - you deserved it (3051)
On 07/02/2009 at 2:18am - love - by rockstarohyeah (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83537) - you deserved it (3824)
On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (60278) - you deserved it (5297)
On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I learned my 40 year old father is marrying a girl barely a year and a half older than me. She told me not to be afraid to call her mom. I was torn between punching her in the face and vomiting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58165) - you deserved it (2087)
On 06/27/2009 at 1:32am - misc - by OfCourse (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (44792) - you deserved it (7769)
On 06/26/2009 at 10:22am - love - by shouldhaveknown (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom put some bubblewrap on my desk because she thought I would have fun with it. I'm 18. It was awesome. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59004) - you deserved it (30954)
On 06/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Jeweler (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54815) - you deserved it (3192)
On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was getting a pedicure and the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds because they love skin. She then describes for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (71767) - you deserved it (3120)
On 06/25/2009 at 4:34am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177660) - you deserved it (25395)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I couldn't sleep and in the process of tossing and turning I did something very painful to my back. I spent 4 years in the marine corps infantry, but laying in a bed kicks my ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33619) - you deserved it (4058)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:16am - health - by usmcpain (man) - United States
Today, I had a job interview with a person named Chris. The entire time I couldn't figure out if Chris was a man or woman. The interview went as good as it could have went. At the end I said, "Thank you very much sir." Wrong gender. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (13135)
On 06/22/2009 at 12:18pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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