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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21397) - you deserved it (7732)
On 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm - misc - by Cassandra (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my five year old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30709) - you deserved it (5519)
On 06/11/2011 at 7:12am - kids - by julia - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8889) - you deserved it (58647)
On 02/26/2011 at 1:49am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31514) - you deserved it (7565)
On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)
Today, I got pulled over for a traffic violation. Thinking I could get away with it, I spoke with a French accent. The officer then asked me a question in perfect French. I got a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5264) - you deserved it (43040)
On 01/25/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by nmaidkieavg -
Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (8502)
On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5943) - you deserved it (44676)
On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -
Today, I asked my boyfriend if my ass looked big in my new jeans. He looked, and then started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8138) - you deserved it (30322)
On 01/07/2011 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Orebro Lan)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if my ass looked big in my new jeans. He looked, and then started singing "I like big butts and I cannot lie". FML
I agree, your life sucks (8138) - you deserved it (30322)
On 01/07/2011 at 8:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Orebro Lan)
Today, waking up I noticed that my female boss had texted me during the night, telling me she wants me bad. I'm a woman, happily married to a man, and now have to turn her down somehow and not get fired in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26258) - you deserved it (2159)
On 11/03/2010 at 10:35am - intimacy - by tuppu (woman) - Finland
Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26183) - you deserved it (10551)
On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States
Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (3425)
On 07/26/2010 at 8:26am - misc - by Busted (man) - South Africa
Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8156) - you deserved it (28613)
On 07/20/2010 at 8:43am - work - by Lana (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8409) - you deserved it (31480)
On 07/13/2010 at 9:41am - health - by E or - United States (Oregon)
Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8894) - you deserved it (37373)
On 06/21/2010 at 10:21am - love - by pizzafreak18 - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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