polvorah

Search for a member

polvorah

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2445
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About polvorah : *insert something really sarcastic to say here*

polvorah's page activity

Visits<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 11:11am<b>xsaschax</b> - the 03/11/2013 at 11:52pm<b>neonglostix</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 5:02am<b>safaeita</b> - the 09/21/2012 at 7:41am<b>lmc94</b> - the 08/15/2012 at 10:48pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 08/04/2012 at 12:29am

polvorah's FML badges

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of polvorah's badges

polvorah's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that something's wrong when you have to go to a mental hospital for a family reunion. FML

by neverthesame / 03/28/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

by LonerCow / 01/20/2012 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML

by Jonny / 01/08/2012 at 11:07pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

by Cpt Colin / 01/03/2012 at 2:17am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:26am / United States / Love

Today, after explaining to my two year old that we were going bra shopping, he decided to announce to the entire bank that we were going to buy Mommy some boobies. FML

by imamomma / 12/20/2011 at 1:59pm / United States / Kids

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

by Joe / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I got into an argument. I tried to assault him with a laptop. He yelled, "Don't hit me with the computer." My apartment neighbor yelled through the wall, "Do what you gotta do, girl." FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2011 at 9:31pm / United States / Love

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

by jessi / 12/02/2011 at 8:22am / United States / Kids