About polar_bears : Filling your little hearts with joy since 1854.
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polar_bears's favorite FMLs
Today, I was visiting my sick grandmother in the hospital when my cousin and I were playing in some empty wheelchairs. After goofing off I said, "They're fun, but I would kill myself if I was in a wheelchair." A little boy rounded the corner and said, "Tell me about it." He was in a wheelchair. FML
by boyo / 05/21/2009 at 5:48am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher called me into his office so he that he could pass me some information for my project. Just as he plugged in my thumbdrive, he opened the folder named "School Work". That was the folder name I used to disguise my porn. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2009 at 5:01am / Singapore / Intimacy
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2009 at 11:26am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Fitz / 04/12/2009 at 9:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
by Anonymous / 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by shilpajayseanfan / 02/24/2009 at 8:43am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I was talking with some of my friends who are girls. They were all complaining about how there was no good boys left to ask to the Sadie Hawkins Dance. Hoping for an invite I mentioned I was still availiable. They just laughed at me and invited me to come dress shopping with them. FML
by Noname / 02/09/2009 at 6:47pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
by epistaxis / 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by sexaddict / 01/07/2009 at 3:16am / Intimacy
by Wickls / 12/18/2008 at 3:30am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by fataldisease / 12/11/2008 at 7:21am / Kids