About polar_bears : Filling your little hearts with joy since 1854.
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polar_bears's favorite FMLs
Today, I was really psyched to go see Kung Fu Panda 2 at the movies. Excited, I tried to do a flying kick off the cafeteria wall at work. Instead of kicking off, my leg crashed through the plasterboard and got stuck. My co-workers had to pull me free. FML
by Anonymous / 05/27/2011 at 8:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Health
by ColdHeat / 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML
by Ignored / 04/11/2011 at 5:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML
by nicky / 03/31/2011 at 3:18pm / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids
by lolzboss / 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by poked / 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/05/2010 at 3:10am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by looke27 / 11/13/2010 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML
by Petitprof / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/26/2010 at 3:20am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
by Blueberrypicc / 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense,… Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring… Today, at a family dinner, my new husband compared deciding to marry me to buying a used car. Some…