pokerfacealex

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Offline (the 04/29/2016 at 3:10am)

pokerfacealex

13Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1003
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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pokerfacealex's page activity

Visits<b>tin_cup</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 3:48pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/12/2016 at 7:00am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 6:14pm<b>Neut</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 7:14am<b>antonio_bob</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 2:20pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 7:03am<b>balboa_2</b> - the 02/29/2016 at 8:43pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 2:08pm<b>olliebush123</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 12:19pm<b>JustGrifen</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 6:51am<b>jqmalang</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 6:00pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 4:08pm<b>orios105</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:49pm<b>captainkush420</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 7:25pm<b>alexko</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 1:24pm<b>fastman19</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 6:43am<b>jdam123</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 1:42pm<b>nullroute</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 4:05am

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 4:52pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 12:14am<b>antonio_bob</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 8:20pm<b>Michelle1121</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:02pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 2:48am<b>Jkalia</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 10:04pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 8:02am<b>delfino1604</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 6:50am<b>AscendV</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:45am<b>Tenker</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 5:45am<b>TexasDiesel97</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:00am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 1:27am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 9:40pm

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pokerfacealex's favorite FMLs

Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing and cut through the headphone wire. FML

by Anonymous / 04/25/2016 at 1:38am / United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin) / Animals

Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

by rapunzel3416 / 03/14/2016 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my fiancée was asleep, so I decided to spoon her from behind and cup her boobs to wake her up nicely. She responded by yelling, "THE TOAST!" and elbowing me in the face whilst still asleep. FML

by mouse_13 / 01/15/2016 at 1:28am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

by RuasaLove / 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

by pooplife / 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

by byebyeromance / 08/25/2014 at 9:03pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

by Anonymous / 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML

by Anonymous / 07/21/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I was scrubbing the bloody aftermath of a successful mouse trap off of my stove with an old toothbrush. After a few good scrubs, out of habit I put the toothbrush in my mouth while I turned on the water. FML

by AylaMarie92 / 07/21/2014 at 5:04pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up to an old lady right outside my open window, saying "Hello in there! Are you sleepy?" I was so startled that I answered her. She screamed. Turns out she's my neighbour's elderly mother, didn't know I was in there, and was talking to my cat. FML

by ADanceWithDavos / 07/07/2014 at 11:59am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my girlfriend was feeling down because she has put on some weight. I tried to make her feel better by showing her I can still pick her up. I can, and I was even able to hide the fact that I shat myself doing it. I'm so romantic. FML

by oh shit / 07/06/2014 at 3:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

by ShutTheFuCupcake / 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health