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pokerface71's FML badges
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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
pokerface71's favorite FMLs
by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
Today, on my first day as a lifeguard, a man had a heart attack in the pool. I jumped in, pulled him out, and even went to the hospital with him. He seemed genuinely offended, saying "You should've let me die." FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2014 at 3:04pm / Netherlands / Health
Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML
by where do they come from / 07/01/2014 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Work
by Unknown / 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by IAMALITAHA / 06/27/2014 at 2:11am / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Work
Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML
by Sam / 06/25/2014 at 1:10am / United States (California) / Work
by lrn2road / 06/24/2014 at 11:04am / United States (California) / Transportation
by Badatlife / 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/22/2014 at 1:27am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML
by LoveGlove / 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm / Australia / Health
Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2014 at 11:15am / United States (Colorado) / Health
- Today, I was travelling in a car. As I was discreetly picking my nose, we drove over a speed bump.… Today, things were getting steamy with my boyfriend. For once, I tried to be more vocal to turn him… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…