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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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poiopop

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poiopop
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  • Number of visits : 1449
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, for my birthday, my friends and family gave me: A Wii Fit, a free year at the gym and a book of diet recipes. They didn't consult with each other. I've asked for "something corresponding to me". FML

#6256305 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (16280) - you deserved it (9605)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:03am - health - by Timetoloseweight (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was playing Farmville all day, and I was really into the game. I was getting phone calls all day, but I kept ignoring them cause I was making so much Farm Money. Come to find out it was my son's school. He fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm. FML

#5970435 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (4280) - you deserved it (80609)

On 10/24/2009 at 3:25am - kids - by stewhart (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was working drive thru and took a huge order. When the people pulled around to the window, they handed me a stack of coupons. None of the coupons were even related to what they ordered. They made me change their order to fit the coupons because they couldn't read. FML

#5380714 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (30246) - you deserved it (1720)

On 09/20/2009 at 8:38pm - work - by MEW (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396 (194)

I agree, your life sucks (36414) - you deserved it (2470)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

#5072943 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (35434) - you deserved it (3919)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by shoelace18 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML

#5041996 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (32069) - you deserved it (3642)

On 09/04/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by bubblezzz123 - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML

#4679110 (343)

I agree, your life sucks (34980) - you deserved it (98543)

On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was at a local chinese restaurant with two of my friends. We were laughing hysterically when my friend tells me to stop making her laugh because she was going to puke, naturally I kept egging it on. She puked all over the table and I was laughing so hard that I peed my pants. FML

#4672894 (118)

I agree, your life sucks (6481) - you deserved it (43856)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a girl was tailgating me, even though I was going at speed limit. Annoyed, I drove 10 mph under the speed limit, and every time she honked, I went 5mph slower. Too bad she got the last laugh... I was pulled over for "reckless driving." FML

#4589153 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (13740) - you deserved it (30021)

On 08/17/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by tailgaterhater - United States (Washington)

Today, I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road. The car in front of me decided to merge over. It kicked up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through my open window. I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot. FML

#4571897 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you deserved it (2490)

On 08/16/2009 at 12:32pm - misc - by travinator121611 (man) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

#4543723 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (42688) - you deserved it (7067)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:51am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

#4499935 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (5143) - you deserved it (42016)

On 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by soapgirl (woman) - Philippines (Pampanga)

Today, I bought a feezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

#4495233 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (5517) - you deserved it (44909)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML

#4474549 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (34184) - you deserved it (8324)

On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.