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Offline (the 04/15/2015 at 5:47am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 13 April 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 333
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About pnutzmckracken : Stuff & things. That is all ;)

pnutzmckracken's page activity

Visits<b>joco4</b> - the 07/09/2016 at 1:55am<b>JDSini</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 10:59pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:50pm<b>lovelyvampire</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:28am<b>schwaka</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:31am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 2:27am<b>1two3four5six</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 7:33pm<b>pureportedpear</b> - the 03/30/2014 at 7:19pm<b>renafire</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 3:38am<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 9:10pm<b>purpleturtle16</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 3:55am<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 2:54am<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 2:47am<b>botanistjessica</b> - the 03/19/2014 at 12:51am<b>tunti</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 2:07pm<b>_noelani_</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 3:05am<b>JMichael</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:48pm<b>MisSum182</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 10:11pm

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pnutzmckracken's favorite FMLs

Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

by The greatest Illusion ever / 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, I brought a fluorescent tube to the store to make sure I got the correct replacement. Trying to charm the sexy cashier, I waved the tube in the air, saying "I need a new light sabre, there is no force left in this one and the Empire is attacking." Turns out she'd never heard of Star Wars. FML

Today, I was involved in a car accident and hit my head on the dash. I now have huge, very sore knot on my head. My boyfriend now takes every opportunity to poke it and scream "Look! A baby unicorn!" FML

by southernpride93 / 11/18/2011 at 10:26am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2010 at 9:20am / Spain (Asturias) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

by hamster cookie / 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm / Kids