ploxythebear

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/13/2014 at 7:58pm)

ploxythebear

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1631
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

ploxythebear's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of ploxythebear's badges

ploxythebear's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned, after hearing a lot about bulimia recently. I knocked, then heard a gasp, so I let myself in, only to see her on her knees and her boyfriend with his underwear around his ankles. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

by failed dad / 06/25/2014 at 8:30am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids

Today, at my sister's wedding, I went to the very back of the crowd of women waiting to catch the bouquet. Not only did I end up catching it, I was accosted by a crazy chick who ripped it out of my hands, screaming at me in Italian. I later found out she was already engaged. FML

by sadbuttrue. / 06/24/2014 at 9:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while visiting family, we went to a restaurant to eat. Towards the end of the meal, I went to use the restroom. When I came back, everyone was gone. Everyone had actually gotten into their cars and left without me. I have no idea where I am and no one is answering their phone. FML

by Anonymous / 06/23/2014 at 10:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck / 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals

Today, I went to work in my best outfit for the big corporate party we were having later in the day. When I arrived, my boss said, "You missed one hell of a party yesterday!" Shit. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2014 at 5:20pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

by fat and alone / 06/05/2014 at 12:11am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, while on the highway, a guy in a truck sped up to pass me. He was hauling a trailer, which hit me and ran me off the road. I called the cops and followed him all the way into town, where the cops pulled him over. They let him go without even a ticket, because, "He didn't know he hit you." FML

by Off_Road / 06/04/2014 at 3:30pm / United States (Alaska) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

by Justawoman / 06/04/2014 at 11:52am / Denmark (Midtjylland) / Intimacy

Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 10:34am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love

Today, a coworker asked me why this week's report was not uploaded to the server. I've been writing these reports once a week for a year and they take a whole day to write. Upload them to what server? FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 9:56am / United States / Work

Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML

by anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 1:07am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML

by maleficunt / 06/03/2014 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Work

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

by properpissed / 06/03/2014 at 11:36am / United States (California) / Kids