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Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (4479)
On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (2855)
On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41436) - you deserved it (5091)
On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my wife tried to refill the windshield wiper fluid on her own. However, she poured it where the oil goes. Now the car is having major issues. Last week I lost my job, and I have no idea how much this is going to cost to fix. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23104) - you deserved it (2269)
On 08/30/2011 at 5:35am - money - by BadTime (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, it's been a year since I've been with my girlfriend, and I think that I hate more things about her than I like. For instance, how she likes to throw furniture at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (7100)
Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML
I agree, your life sucks (26336) - you deserved it (907)
On 08/10/2011 at 1:48am - misc - by thatfatkid - United States (Iowa)
Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11606) - you deserved it (36194)
On 08/05/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by Username - United States
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32538) - you deserved it (9007)
On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend came before I'd even unbuttoned my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47615) - you deserved it (5425)
On 06/27/2011 at 4:56am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I found out all about my son's secret online double life. He's been moonlighting for two years as a male prostitute by the name of Peter Parker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34468) - you deserved it (4547)
On 06/11/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by Mom (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30963) - you deserved it (4379)
On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32149) - you deserved it (9443)
On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -
Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (13515)
On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30480) - you deserved it (44254)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26939) - you deserved it (5560)
On 03/08/2011 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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