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Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18018) - you deserved it (3525)
On 08/19/2012 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26001) - you deserved it (7648)
On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)
Today, my daughter proudly showed me her new tattoo sleeve, which is made up of an angry cupcake, hemp leaves, and a My Little Pony character. She's almost 30, still unemployed, and still lives in my home. I now have no hope of her ever becoming a productive member of society. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18071) - you deserved it (5177)
On 07/27/2012 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Ostfold)
Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2158)
On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed f*ck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (3208)
On 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by soontobedumped (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23280) - you deserved it (17420)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47646) - you deserved it (6157)
On 11/09/2011 at 7:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I got mugged by a guy who was threatening me with a stapler. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (6076)
On 11/08/2011 at 9:39am - misc - by StaplerScared - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36032) - you deserved it (6103)
On 11/08/2011 at 1:11am - intimacy - by lunarstrain - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48247) - you deserved it (3455)
On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I ran into my boyfriend's dad. His exact words were, "Call me when you're ready to feel what a real man can do to you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53261) - you deserved it (3341)
On 11/03/2011 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27782) - you deserved it (6775)
On 10/30/2011 at 1:02am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33370) - you deserved it (3931)
On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42888) - you deserved it (6052)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29923) - you deserved it (22083)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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