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plateface1998

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plateface1998
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  • Number of visits : 62
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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plateface1998's favorite FMLs

Today, my mum and I were referred to as "ladies". I'm happy for her, since she always complains about looking masculine. However, I would still like to be called a gentleman, seeing as how I am one. FML

#21000124
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38170) - you deserved it (2788)

On 12/21/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by FML (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I was home alone and heard the kitchen tap turn on. Shocked, I turned it off. It continuously kept turning itself on so I set my video phone on it to find out the cause. My cat has learnt to turn it on. I later found said cat teaching another. I have three cats. All my taps are like this. FML

Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML

#20857695
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35258) - you deserved it (2862)

On 08/28/2013 at 9:25am - misc - by AtLeastHaveADecientExcuse -

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42692) - you deserved it (10356)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out someone has a crush on me. Normally I'd be fine with this, if it weren't for that fact that this guy informed me that he has collected pictures of me since the third grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks. FML

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

Today, I realized just how bad my problem with making eye contact is, when I caught myself looking the other way when the singer in a music video looked directly at the camera. FML

#19522218
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15407) - you deserved it (3120)

On 04/24/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by suhleedah18 - United States

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23146) - you deserved it (9284)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59481) - you deserved it (6228)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (48280)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117424) - you deserved it (6618)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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