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plague_rat's FML badges
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plague_rat's favorite FMLs
by JMG / 08/19/2012 at 1:25am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 7:02pm / United States / Love
by sneaky1324 / 08/18/2012 at 3:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, the whole family came over to celebrate my 18th birthday. My grandfather bought me a giant mathematics book. Apparently, he didn't want my 16 year old sister to be "jealous", so he got her the new iPad. FML
by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 12:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love
Today, I called in to my girlfriend's favorite radio station to propose. After spending what seemed like an eternity telling her how much I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her, she took a deep breath, said, "How about no?" and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2012 at 3:50pm / United States / Love
Today, the coworker I've had a crush on for the past few months asked me if I was busy Friday night. I was so excited, I immediately replied, "I thought you'd never ask!" He gave me a funny look and said, "Good, because I need you to take my shift." FML
by DeeGirlMon / 08/03/2012 at 1:24am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
Today, I confessed to my co-worker that I've secretly loved him for months. He laughed hysterically for about a minute straight before shaking his head and excusing himself from the store. Even the fact that my boss fired him for leaving early isn't cheering me up. FML
by Alanis / 07/20/2012 at 9:59pm / United States / Love
by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 6:31pm / United States / Love
by MaeMoss / 07/18/2012 at 10:21am / United States / Love
Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML
by heartbroken / 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/13/2012 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Love
by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
by Anonymous / 07/04/2012 at 2:01pm / United States / Love
by LonelyShowers / 07/04/2012 at 1:36am / United States (California) / Love
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…