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  • Town/Country : Maumelle, United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 645
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

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pixie_cb's favorite FMLs

Today, my drill sergeant was yelling at me and asking me questions. I got a question wrong, and he asked me if I am a "Shit Sandwich". I replied "Yes sir, with extra cheese." I'm running miles till the day I die. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24682) - you deserved it (8970)

On 08/17/2015 at 9:55pm - work - by BarhydtBran - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49569) - you deserved it (6812)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at the bank where I work, I escorted a very short woman to her safe deposit box in the vault. I left her alone, knowing she could use the phone to call the reception when she was ready to leave. We later realised the phone was too high for her to reach. If glares could kill. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43492) - you deserved it (6933) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/11/2014 at 5:01am - work - by norina (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I like. We climbed a tree to watch the sunset, and as the sun went down, I kissed him. He fell out of the tree. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51359) - you deserved it (5844)

On 10/14/2013 at 12:02pm - love - by lovehurts - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31814) - you deserved it (52257)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML


I agree, your life sucks (51072) - you deserved it (5103)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51373) - you deserved it (28806)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I heard my husband telling his friend that I used to be a skank and was "easier than 1 plus 1" when we first met. I was still a virgin when we got married. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53039) - you deserved it (8470)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, after sex, my boyfriend and I lay in bed for a couple of hours just chatting. This would have been lovely. However, his topic of choice for post-coital pillow talk was his theory about how Chewbacca is secretly the leader of the Rebel Alliance. It actually made sense. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (7263)

On 08/14/2012 at 8:17am - intimacy - by cl4ptp (woman) - United Kingdom (Vale of Glamorgan, The)

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML


I agree, your life sucks (76434) - you deserved it (8108)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

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