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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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pitchingrose15

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pitchingrose15
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 195
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pitchingrose15's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

#3971502 (206)

I agree, your life sucks (42715) - you deserved it (4648)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Tallow101 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

#3603925 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (46171) - you deserved it (1949)

On 07/09/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by lady_jeni - United States (California)

Today, I flew into LAX. I get nervous when I fly so I brought my recently deceased dad's ashes with me in my purse. They're in a quarter sized urn which is melted shut. Security didn't believe it contained ashes so they broke it open spilling my dad all over the table. Sorry Daddy. FML

#3002923 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (75992) - you deserved it (18209)

On 06/18/2009 at 5:29pm - misc - by CaliGirl (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was driving in my car when out of the corner of my eye I notice a car pulling up next to me trying to get past me. I speed up, so as not to let the car pass me. It took me a while before I noticed I was racing against the shadow of my own car. FML

#2991676 (221)

I agree, your life sucks (5478) - you deserved it (50447)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:15am - misc - by nerd (woman) - Finland (Eastern Finland)

Today, I saw my crush walking on the other side of the street. She hadn't noticed me, so when she did I nonchalantly looked over and casually waved to look cool. I then walked right into a lamp post. FML

#2991516 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (16146) - you deserved it (24564)

On 06/18/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I was cleaning out my fiancé's room while he was away so we could move into our new home. Not only did I find a few gay nudie mags, but also some interesting love letters from a nice man named Pablo. Apparently I need to do a lot more than cleaning his room to excite him. Like grow a penis. FML

#2839886 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (51332) - you deserved it (2777)

On 06/12/2009 at 8:10pm - love - by vickyxanne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (88875) - you deserved it (52488)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had a date with this really cute guy. He invited me over to make dinner at his place. Eventually we end up in his bedroom to have sex. He pulls down my panties and says, "You need to shave that shit." FML

#2734034 (460)

I agree, your life sucks (45317) - you deserved it (48833)

On 06/09/2009 at 1:27am - intimacy - by lagirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

#2620784 (324)

I agree, your life sucks (42821) - you deserved it (17999)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:03am - health - by NoPainNoGain (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#2499488 (258)

I agree, your life sucks (94679) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by baron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (359)

I agree, your life sucks (69466) - you deserved it (32923)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (64728) - you deserved it (18931)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)



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