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pinkzilla0's favorite FMLs
by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was discussing the possibility of other life in the universe with my friend. She said the universe isn't big enough for it to be possible, and that we would know about it already, because "there are only 8 planets in the universe." FML
by daninalani / 03/11/2012 at 6:37pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML
by Beeisc00l / 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm / Reserved / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/28/2011 at 5:52pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
Today, I was so starved of human contact that I almost took up a transsexual hooker's offer of a "good time." Nothing wrong with that really, but they looked like a haunted tree dressed as Liza Minnelli. FML
by Username / 09/05/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
by SoupCanoe / 08/29/2011 at 4:33am / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
by beachbumb8538 / 07/15/2011 at 1:01pm / United States / Geek
by wispywee / 06/29/2011 at 1:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek
Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML
by techiefIve / 06/14/2011 at 6:04am / United States (California) / Geek
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…