Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About pinkdino911 : I'm just here to read FML's, and maybe leave a few comments. :)
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Yesterday, I was at a ( bring your family to work ) event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, ( No wife today? ) Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML
Today, I had a dream inhich I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off,hile in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the frst time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML
today I woke up and went into mah living room, only to be greeted by mah aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML
my daughter wouldn't stop yapping on about not being able to register on the new Harry Potter website. The amount ofhiny jibber-jabber emanating from her cake-hole made me want to boot her from our family tree, and I had to resort to booze to wash the pain away. I'm a terrible parent. mega FML
2day I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly , I was more surprised by looool the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. real FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's parents' anniversary so I thought I'd do something to impress them . I made them chocolate-coverd strawberries . But for some reason they gave me really drty looks when they saw it . Turns out his mother is looool allergic to strawberries and his father is allergic to chocolate . FML
Today, I dressed up, went over to mah boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman.
Today my boyfriend an I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand he grabs onto me an says looool ( I'm a koala an you're my eucalyptus tree! ) He then continued to latch onto me 4 a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
Friday 27 March 2015