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pink_cupcakninja's favorite FMLs
by tinytiny1124 / 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Kids
by crazytown / 04/10/2014 at 11:50am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
by Max / 04/09/2014 at 2:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, after months of being on anti-depression medication and feeling very little emotionally, I finally felt some joy. Sadly it was from completely crushing my husband in an argument he started, where he claimed ketchup is a vegetable. FML
by Anonymous / 04/08/2014 at 12:07pm / Italy (Veneto) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML
by kaheera4 / 04/04/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML
by fuck you with a bacon cock / 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm / United Kingdom (Moray) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's the last day of my sign language class. At the end of the class, my teacher surprised us by speaking for the first time, also surprising everyone that she wasn't actually deaf. It wouldn't have been so bad had I not just given someone an answer to the test, thinking she couldn't hear me. FML
by booboo300 / 04/03/2014 at 6:16pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by kubbyp / 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by off to the whorehouse, then / 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm / United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove) / Intimacy
by bonbon789 / 03/27/2014 at 2:10pm / United States / Health
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
by In urgent need of a new roommate / 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by Vampprobs / 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was ordering a pizza over the phone. When the guy asked for my order, I yelled "Hey, you guys wanted pepperoni, right?" In reality, I was yelling this to my cat. College hasn't made me many friends so far. FML
by Anonymous / 03/24/2014 at 4:01pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML
by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals
Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML
by BigBlue / 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…